Three psychological (reposted) - Wei's blog - the focus of blog

 Three psychology Appreciating a wise, knowing who clearly, this is about yourself, know yourself. few people are absolute winners or losers, but the relative degree of problems, but once a person can really know himself, his chances of success may become even greater. Once a person finds true self, can not form the tired, blindly rash, and true, the reality in the face of the environment, the face of life, the face of feelings. sometimes aggressive, sometimes a little edge convergence; sometimes need to blend with the public, sometimes in silence few words; sometimes fight, sometimes mutual love; sometimes work, sometimes the game; sometimes crying, sometimes Langxiao; sometimes compete, sometimes need to retreat; sometimes speaking, sometimes silent; sometimes good grip opportunities, sometimes breathless wait. We hope that psychological theory and application of ternary, so each of us to become a real, viable, happy, have self-control, conscious people. Our theoretical sources and found theoretical methods in the West Gaisituote above, by Byrne to form their own unique theory development - communication analysis, and the origin of Indian philosophy triple combination of psychological theory, allows us to feelings and personality wise to establish a communication between a person can use his good feelings here and wisdom it, rather than access to one at the expense of another, can we learn which clearly aware of their status, and keep Psychological adjustment of fit people and the environment. On the other hand, applied ternary psychology, can be analyzed and the mobilization of state of mind of others to achieve the adjustment can not affect two-way communication with others level. dualistic paradox, we always have such kind hearts contradictions, such as the morning, fast asleep, do not want to get up, but have to go to work, the heart will have two voices, one said: it. Another is the representative of the preferences, feelings, self-willed child self. from a decision of an adult self, he is a referee, is a consciousness that can determine the enlightened. if aware of this, we can from the binary opposition jumping out to a non-easy choice retreat. ternary self-division method is composed of three parts of self, children of self, adult self, parents, self, from birth, a person in anything that is recorded in the brain and neural tissues, including childhood experiences, representatives from the behavior of parents and their attitudes and views on things, and all his experience and knowledge. these records in our brain, such as procedures like recording the data, I do not know constitutes self-noticing, the three states. We differentiate into children's self-ternary self, parents and adult self-self in three parts. Children from the childhood stage of emotional self-model, from the physical desire, emotion, sensation, is childhood environment has left us thinking and feeling empathy, not really representative of my experience, he showed emotion, feeling, unrestrained, irrational feelings, both good and likes and dislikes, intuition, imagination. Child ego state, including infant and childhood all the natural impulses, including the early experience of treating parents and sisters, and children's behavior and ways of responding to their own feet and others psychological mind-color position. It behaves like the old children's behavior (empathy) Adult Self: with age. It represents the current reality and objective data collection. it is organized, adaptable and have a clear intelligence, the performance objective. parents self: playing the parents of the foot main color, simulated life experiences people do during the attitude of parents to teach, behavior patterns, emotional way; and judge of things and ways of thinking, experience and knowledge from books and so on. knowledge, wisdom and social norms, which is external, is a accumulation and summarization, slowly we forget that these ideas are the environment and the teaching of adults in the books or the past, but knew that he was his own part. He is characterized by rational, logical, utilitarian rule, content such as law , moral, ethical standards and so on. parents self, legal, ethical, standards, ethics, duty, logic, the rules of adult self-utilitarian truth and objective data collection, children's self-consciousness of the present desires, emotions, sensations, fantasies, unprincipled, emotional example: that sexual desire for children, such as self, then the concept of chastity is the parents themselves, and stand on the consciousness of which is the adult self, he came to a choice and assessment of both sides. For example, a mother, she was loudly denounced loud child, his brow wrinkled, sharp sound. Suddenly the phone rings, she heard the voice of a friend, she immediately became Speak softly, smiling. In the process, she experienced from the parents themselves to Children's Self-Improvement. ternary Psychology → easy to use to great. ego state of the learning outcomes of the fantasy. In fact, everyone will be on a special external environment, respectively, from the performance of three different self-state reaction. Sometimes, these self-state is consistent, sometimes conflicting. We look at the following Example: external environment: Rock parents: children to listen to what is boring stuff? Adults: music too loud, I can not do or want to talk to. Children: The music makes me want to dance. external circumstances: a modern art works of parents: God, what is this stuff? adults: the price of USD three hundred and fifty yuan. Children: Oh - What a beautiful color. external circumstances: the higher level statements of a parent: that leadership will not be promoted. Adult: I know when the five-point lead to this report. Children: no matter how I do, anyway, always dissatisfied with the leadership. outside the territory: on the streets of atrocities parents: this girl deserve it, go out so late! adults: the best fast call the police. Children: Ha! really must, a real buzz. external environment: diet, when parents give you a piece of chocolate cake: eat, which can maintain the strength. Adults: piece of cake containing at least four hundred calories, or do not eat It .. Child: Oh! hell with cake! I can take it to eat! external circumstances: the young female secretary work late parents: poor child, as if did not sleep good sleep. Adults: If she did not catch the time , other staff will gossip. Children: I really want to like her, come to work late, slip out of play. outside the territory of: speech, swearing parents: that such a bad language, but that too few know the words too! Adult : I really wonder why he use these words, I do not know how the audience's reaction .. Children: I wish I dare say. outside the territory: the taste of cabbage parents: cabbage is very healthy. Adults: cabbage contain high vitamin unit C. Children: I do not want to eat this kind of thing. outside the territory: people who know just put the arm on your shoulders, parents: Do not let a stranger touch you it. Adults: strange! him why? children: scared me! people from each state of feeling of self, discovery, listening, viewing and performance. Each ego state is a set of behaviors, respectively. Some people are more often from a self-state reaction. For example, some people's responses ego state most often by parents, on his view of the world and his parents. that some people may die dogma board. Some people's reactions ego state most often by children, such a person shows that naive, childish , sensitive. Some parents and children have also come out in the inner contradictions, which we must come out from the contradictions, the way out to the application of psychology to the triple, to recognize that in the past that is their true experience, not really feeling, but the role of children's self-empathy. And in the minds, there are often rules of caution and self-only parents of foreign goods, we need this dual opposing sides in the conflict liberate their minds freely leisurely. The key is to have any psychological plot classified division, assign them to the children and parents themselves among themselves, so really I am not contaminated, in a in order to achieve mental health, intellectual and psychological unity. Children's Self-formation: the role of children's self ---- emotional empathy fixed program version of our hearts, are hiding a child, he often will come out direct parents and our own behavior. childhood experiences and perceptions of each, including fear, love, anger, joy, dependence, compulsion, anxiety, self-centered, incompetent, and other feelings and emotions, like 'videos' There were recorded as each of us mind. neurosurgeon Wilder penfield found to stimulate certain areas of the cerebral cortex, the past memories will be vivid, as if the video tape of the show, with all the original scene of the incident sound and emotions. seems to occur in our growth process everything, including countless times we thought we had forgotten, have been recorded and preserved. sufficient evidence that these memories will be stimulated to reproduce, affect our Now the feelings and behavior. start from early childhood, parents teach us any order to survive, prejudices, taboos and rules, are also recorded in our nerve cells (and their parents in the nerve cells were preserved in the voice of their parents.) bring all of these videos, the early childhood feelings and reactions, and behavior of parents and instructions, together constitute the so-called inner child. sometimes preserved from early childhood records were triggered, without our experience of more mature, knowledge and wisdom of the amendment to reproduce it exactly, we will mistaken this is the current feelings and behavior. For example, friends or leaders too busy at work on our cold and distant, our response is likely to be early childhood a strong fear of abandonment, and this and the current situation may be completely disproportionate. At this time, is the emotional horror inner child, replace and control of our judgments. parents a major source of self-knowledge and perception ------ the Department to sex we often read to full implementation of our knowledge, but also to format our hearts and slowly turned into knowledge and ideas, without knowing it, you put sacred knowledge into your part, you forget that he is outside of knowledge, but mistaken, model ideas → → (unconscious) knowledge ↘ → Update expanding knowledge changes one day before the study if the knowledge or seen and heard, when the day is inconsistent with our views of others, we might be able to clear understanding of the knowledge between the two views is We do not think the differences between the two known see above, is simply someone else and are you to judge others as a tool for good or bad right or wrong, is your perception as a model - even without thinking of things you will have a difficult to prevent knowledge into thinking and awareness model, and can only accumulate more product knowledge to make your thinking more harmony broader and more open, but you must understand - his alien nature, origin, non-true I can not be real enforcement for me. humble character, always a reflection, it can be said is necessary. in fact it is truly dedicated people is not heavy sea with rivers classified as new channels of creativity and inclusiveness. Children and parents, children grow up self-interaction baby is born, perceived ability to focus on their needs and comfort. He tried to escape the painful experience, and use their gut feeling to meet with the outside world. He almost immediately to show Children's unique self-state. (parents of children not yet affected the state of self ego state), followed by the development of Parent ego state. When children imitate their parents, parents play the game, the Parent ego state first appears. Sometimes, parents see their children that are imitation, play when I feel the shock, and sometimes they are very happy. When the children understand the intent of the external world and manipulate others when the adult ego state will appear. He may ask: eat! a gift is the baby carriage. She wanted to crawl in, the mouth saying: Xia Li dragging voice, said: misery doll then put in the car. she went to trial to try and repeat four times, and finally she apparently agreed to put too much, and still dressed as a baby's mother to treat her mother doll in their own way to deal with. summer Li's parents, maternal behavior is indeed a self-state from the imitation. Although the state of her child self, she wanted to be a doll, but her adult ego state to collect the objective data - the baby car seat does not go in her . any situation can trigger a special self-state, and sometimes the same as Xia Li, a person's inner state of a variety of self-interpleader. in real life, we unconsciously give to the people around positioning our parent or child foot color, we are like a game of children, in fact, we have grown up, all the bases and scars are sufficient to prove the identity cards placed in the drawer, that we have is a citizen, it is also in the same drawer a diploma, indicate that we are experts in a particular aspect. In our eyes, and perhaps not see the wrinkles, is now running out. All of life experiences, making the tubes we call adult children. We really adults? We are still living in the childhood game? the parents can not do without a person should be independent, according to their aspirations and determine the best decision. This is not true, we always habitual behavior and limited by way of thinking, - in fact, we have not yet become masters of their own. we seem to be a public limited liability company, has the decisive stake in others, and the largest shareholder is often the people - our parents (the parents themselves). how much we share will give parents? the fact that we have no choice. infant's helplessness, has led to our survival lies in the hands of caregivers. We need to depend on their physical care; and if want to maintain satisfaction and comfort, you want to feel that we are welcome in the world, we must rely on their care. Before long, we understand that comfort feeling of love from their parents care. but only need a little more time , you will find, in order to preserve this point feelings, to avoid losing it, we should do. We know that if the parents (or any care for our people) happy and peaceful, we can enjoy more focused on us tenderness and care. and because psychiatrists HSSullivan known as the the mother was happy more and more things we know we will show to please the mother increased. we gradually grew up, we do not need to survive and more and more dependent on their parents out. We have come to take care of themselves - but good or bad mood, but still closely related with their parents. feelings not only does not cut the umbilical cord, but often wound into a Gordian knot, and our attitude towards our parents closely tied together. Sometimes we will request the parents stance taken against, or mean to blame their mistakes. But this is just another sign that this should not stop people bustling strong emotions, parents are still around in circles. whether it is away from their parents, or parents living in a; whether it is a rare see a face, or meet them every day, do not make any difference. In fact, the existence and disappearance of their parents, sometimes irrelevant. It is important, we can indulge in a kind and conversation or interaction between parents, it hamper our growth, limit our freedoms. To survive, we have been dependent on their parents. our hearts are also used to praise or blame the parents and the ups and downs. usually depends on the parents of the child requirements and expectations. As parents, if able to clearly understand that their job is to help children become independent and self-sufficient person; if they are mature enough, according to this understanding, play their own role, then they children will develop into the process of the individual have a great supporting role. However, even with this understanding, some of them may still not mature enough, can not really do that to children. The result: our inner child is being affected ; parents themselves, , Western psychologists tell you, this is not your emotions, but from parents and childhood emotional patterns, from the children themselves. If you are a mean person, always love to find other people's problems, can not forgive the faults of others, it may be growing in your reality your parents or other childhood close to him, is so treat you without knowing which model potential of others into your brain, can now tell you This is not you, the parents themselves only. In reflection, we can easily become a friendly person, but I am afraid of people with the gift. withdrawn, sensitive, suspicious, shy and self feel very strongly that children are self- features, if a person always in the child ego state, he would fear social. For example: Some people met with the leadership, there is a feeling of fear and shyness, because you saw the leadership, unknowingly enter your child ego state, you put on a real working relationship with superiors, became unconscious as the When the leadership is now revealed. your leadership is, he has self-self and child in the parents themselves, such as the parents of self-leadership is a the parents of your self-leadership is a Parent ego state to treat you, he will understand you, understand your immature. we sometimes need to enter the child ego state, our happiness, self, Romantic and Uncontrolled, need to care about and care. sometimes we need to go Parent ego state, our reason, Since the beam, for by chapter, wants us to care for others, help others, brave and strong. In other words, each of us is perfect, but sometimes people should not enter the children's self-state, but in a state of children's self- thus incompatible with the environment. When you participate in seminars, conferences or other social it was to hide in a corner, unnoticed, suddenly, you should speak at the session, the audience's eyes to you, You suddenly heated heart, palms sweating ... ..., you should not enter the children's self-state. When you're at a friend's birthday party, the Association of New Year's Day, you always can not be happy, excited is not up, do you think is a waste of time , - bad, you enter the Parent ego state, the small time you watch TV do not work, parents that do that to you. our leadership are people too, has his child ego state, my parents and true state of ego state . He sometimes just straight, sometimes emotional enough about loyalty, and some times unreasonable opinionated. The trick here is to determine when he will enter the three states among the states in which you treat him. for example, some people , always led the children in self-state (to eat, play, etc.) unconsciously, treat him the leadership of the subconscious is like family and friends. the characteristics of the children themselves, in addition to friendship than there are non-rational emotional, so Some businessmen loophole to .... is often the case law. sometimes use the environment to induce others and themselves into different states, this topic should be mentioned below, where not talk, or to analyze our own bar! we will find When we enter the children's self, some very good childhood, some people are not healthy childhood, will be some things that are not perfect, it is necessary to understand the child in addition to its self-object of the other, but also a conscious avoidance He and improvement of him, and if you find that your child is too self-Romantic and Uncontrolled, or even occupy more than half of your life time and the state, it can take the initiative themselves to dip with his parents, for example, by chess, reading books and so on. such as participation requires brains and skill-based activities, so that to meet the children's self at the same time, parents also receive self-enhancement. illusory show your love of life that (child ego state): Self said: Self also said that children in these three words. But sometimes if you always treat your parents love the children's self-self, she will be very angry: understand the waste different childhood, different families of children the parents so that everyone has the self-difference, some people lust after the election, excited, take him into power, many a child, the parents ask for items or to request, through their own After the success of the request or when crying more. Some people respond to the desire associated with low self-esteem and anxiety, which is added a feeling of empathy pattern may be hours of the request is always rejected by their parents. Some people have the desire when is the jealous feelings of the people has been met, may be a childhood favorite toys are their parents or younger brother took up his brother. All in all, this is not a pure reaction to the reality, but the image and influence of the past, to see him Children's self part of this feeling for the object from which to choose. Some people are not too self-consciousness of children, no feelings of desire, and only thought, because of the knowledge, experience and education is different from the parents themselves will have different reaction, but also see his alien nature, such as you might think the ideal person to have real desire, if there is no desire there is no power; other people have I would have; if they work hard can succeed; no matter how much the parents themselves kinds of views of desire, not what we want to analyze, we just want to point out his alien nature, the vagaries of nature, are not the real you, everything can change, development and progress and mature, so we to let go and objectively treat the feelings and thoughts, learn to change hearts and consciousness and transformation. DISSEMINATED --- on the first throughout the state each person's heart response to children and parents self-self, because of family is different in different environments will be different, let us look at their children's self and self is what the parents, but also analyze their own true self, is self-occupied by children (impulsive, emotional, innocent and romantic, large boy, old elf), or self-occupied by their parents (old-fashioned dogmatic, aging and stable), the adjustment of the adjustment, the change of the change, and truthfully it does not matter in the not change, because it is Well, at the same time recognize that he is the object, you can get the mind free. be disseminated by parents of children self self self disseminated parents parents of children adult self self self self adult self in the game children can improve children's self-tempered soul of the game are disseminated Go, chess and other games need to think and logistics. tourism, modern music, sports activities, parents can improve self-dip. the state of self-guidance: the guidance of the language is widely used, such as talking about national affairs or work, people would be I entered into a literacy or parent ego state, such as natural people would be talking about home entertainment into the Child ego state. in a different state of the environment are also different people in general, compared to self-activity into the Child ego state of the environment as follows: bedroom, dining room, activity rooms, parks, dance halls, hospitals, schools and so on. Comparison of people into the adult environment of self-self parents such as: office, living room, court, meeting rooms, cars and so on. obviously speaking from the initiative that we can use of language and the environment to adjust themselves and others at the same time we have to pay attention to the language, the environment, the state's reunification. develop and change we can give the parents themselves to self-image, implying that he is the ideal, clear understanding of their life goals, to --- I'll own label is a rich, leaders, white-collar workers, etc., implying that he and others in the role of the state into your same time, we want to write your own scripts to improve their skills ---- . life drama we have been persistent Hopefully, we nurture and develop the quality of acting of these actors - put on a happy life, love and marriage with human men and women in general there are three reasons: first, to find a stable, durable, based on mutual affection and like-minded partner; Second, the nature of relations between the social, legal and moral recognition; third, a family, maternity and child care, so that racial reproduction. And what about their new understanding also, Why do not you jump, if partner to dance with, you will have to in step with your partner. Three psychology can be used with the other Think about yourself is the best. to see each other's children and their children's self-self and self is to play good parents play, and friends talk about nothing but preparing for the last three purposes . when people fall in love, in order to win the goodwill of the other side, the natural emergence of a nature, the reasons for it. If you love the process as a person's life to enjoy, of course, the pursuit of romantic, sexy, beautiful it is, but if you put him as a prelude to marriage, it must not be too hasty and should try to understand each other , its content is not only a dinner together, watching movies, walking, more importantly, to the other married the prototype of how to treat you, because once the love into marriage, a family, people most of the self or to parents of children in self-state. such as the male self in the eyes of his children, a sister-like wife, sister of a wife, mother of a wife, the servant of a wife, doll-like wife, and so on. in his parents themselves, in addition to his childhood home, their parents in the minds of the scenarios, there are learning and environment, marital relations, obtained a servant of a wife, a father you want him to like her husband, the result everyone was going to be disappointed. Of course, people will because of Over time, they make their living tired of lament. So, if we really want to love as a marriage preparation phase, then we have to wait themselves and each other ideas and concepts are mature setting, the talk of marriage , but also have to understand their real and serious understanding of each other. smoothly through the attraction, displaying, understanding, love the integration process. Traditionally, the be different like what you hate, but not necessarily hate people. If we always used to use their own standards to others, many of the misunderstandings that occur, bias, conflicts and contradictions. For example, I do not smoking cigarettes I smell very bad. However, others may not think so, maybe he was smoking and very comfortable. Therefore, I should not use their own standards to ask him. In turn, he should not be used His standards to me, and here requires mutual understanding and tolerance. understanding and tolerance is a modern concept. Only by fully understanding and tolerance to create a harmonious atmosphere. demands on themselves and ask others should not take the same scale, which means that we should be more stringent demands on themselves, and ask others to be more generous allotment. Only in this way, we can better and more harmonious, more harmonious coexistence with the surrounding population. If we always use the scale to demand strict others, then we will feel that others do not conform to this scale, will have a blame, resentment of the psychological, always see other people's shortcomings and deficiencies, over time, you have no way to live in harmony with people around. Another On the one hand, if we loose scale to their own requirements, we relax too much in the same way, will lead people around our discontent, therefore, can not live in harmony with people around. Only their own more stringent requirements, ask others to be more relaxed, he will make a more harmonious coexistence with others. above is based on the binary from his relative on the basis of the theory that there is a strict requirement to treatment of the done is not painful is ...